COMMITMENT ISSUES

I am beginning to realise I have commitment issues. And it extents to the point where career hunting can be a too-much-to-handle situation for me.....

The situation is: I've been doing contract jobs and temp positions, meaning I go to work everyday like everybody else.....work the same amount of time, do the same amount of work and go home. Just that the major difference is I am not considered an employee for that company. I don't get leave loading and if I don't come in to work, I don't get paid. As simple as that.

And I am beginning to feel too comfortable with this idea. Well, at least I don't have to hand in my leave application months before the actual date itself nor do I need to give any notice prior to leaving the company. Whenever I have exams or anything, I could just tell my superior one day prior and that's it, I get my day off. I love the idea that I don't need to be tied down by work contracts or agreements. I love the idea of being a freelancer.

Now that I am in the middle of hunting for a permanent job, it suddenly hit me that eventually I will belong somewhere, be tied down by contracts and work agreements. I will be subjected to everything the company says or instruct. I will be officially TIED DOWN!

Get the big 'YES', sign the papers and *BaM* I am officially hired! sold!

So now, its kinda a dilemma whenever I am being called for an interview. In a way I wanna get a job offer but in the other way, I wish I could remain in whatever position I am in now.....

Gosh...I am beginning to feel like Gulliver in Gullivers' Travel....being tied down by many many tiny people....I feel choked, I feel heavy......

I am suffocating............

Gosh....I sound like a man being forced into an arranged marriage!