TMTH = Too Much to Handle

Alright, before I begin, let me first warn you that this entry is gonna be gloomy....too gloomy that if there are gonna be pictures in it, the pictures will be gloomy as well. Gloomier than the gloomy Sweeney Todd. In fact, it's so gloomy that up to this stage, there is already 6 'gloomy's in my sentence...opps, latest count, 7!

Let's begin with something more cheerful lar....sweet first before the bitter part mah. BN won election (yesss lar, it's not something new lar) but for the first first first time in history, for as long as I was born, this is the ever first time they won the election without 2/3 majority! How historic it is for us, the Malaysians! It's not that I enjoy seeing the downfall of Barisan National but it's nice to finally have a decent number of oppositions too. Too much power breeds evil. So it's a great, magnificent, super duper good good news to Malaysian citizens because finally we could say we live in a democratic country.

I don't have any preference as of which party wins, be it DAP or BN. Because I know whoever leads the country will tend to have evil thinkings like corruption, manipulation, biasness etc...etc... It's just normal in the world of politics. But the fact that now no party is winning by a lot, everyone gets a say in every bill tabled at the Parliament. That's true democracy! Well done, Malaysians! And for once ever since I decided to start my life in Sydney, I kinda think that maybe it might not be such a bad idea to go back to Malaysia after all. We shall see how the politics goes in another few years time. Don't be too fast to celebrate.

Ok, big deal, Malaysia achieved true democracy. To be frank, still doesn't have direct impact on me because:

• I live in Sydney
• I earn in Aussie dollar
• I spend in the Aussie market
• I function in the Aussie economy

So, I could only be happy for the Malaysians back in M'sia, or those intending to go back to Malaysia. But, my mood isn't right for celebration at this point of time....

(arrrggghhh....here comes the GLOOMY part)

I am at the verge of losing my job as a bar tender. I loved that job and to lose it is kinda big deal for me. Alrite, to be honest, I am quite sick of that place because I have been with them for 2 years plus! But I love what I do, I love the drinks I serve, I love the shots I layer, I love the money it brought me. One 5 hour shift a week could earn me an extra of $120 plus whatever tips we shared upon. That's not a lot of money but to be having fun while earning, priceless. Plus, without this job, my 2008 NY resolution of 'saving as much as I could' will be going to the drain because my full time job earns me just enough to cover my posh rental and my moderate living expenses.

Imagine...$150 a week (pay + tips) extra gives me an additional $600 a month which comes up to a whooping $7200 a year! It's just March now, and to know that I won't be achieving that at such early stage of the year is just a heart ache!

Not to mention to endure the first ever time I am fired in my whole life...FIRED, that's a big word, TMTH. I haven't exactly been a model employee but I have been one of the few to be 'looked up' by my manager, in most of the job I did. Any busy shift, call Nicola; Any stuffed up situations, get Nicola; Too far away, Nicola don't mine travelling. And really, most of the time I don't really mind except if I had made plans prior or had classes to attend, I would say NO. If not, I am always happy to oblige. That is why, occasionally, if there are small errors in my till or times when I took extended leave during the Christmas period to go back Malaysia to care of a sick Mum was always a no-problem event to my hotel manager. At times when I realise my mum had cancer, he assured me to take all the time I need to care for her and my job will still be right here when I return. In events when I mis-handled the gaming machine causing a discrepancy of $113, he bailed me out and I got to keep my job. I owe him a lot for all that. Literally it wasn't the hotel that save me during those hard times, it was this particular manager who saved my ass.

It's a sad thing now he's no longer there. The new manager had little understanding of me. So, I am not surprised at all if he fired me. The sad thing is not only losing the job, it's losing a good employer-employee relationship we had over the 2 years period and the hostile treatment I got last Saturday from two duty managers that I'd always loved and without good reference, I probably had to give up doing bar jobs forever.

Even if I was, say, given just a warning letter this time, I had kinda decided to not returning there after my April break which I intend to take regardless to concentrate on my studies. I was put-off by the hostility I got last Saturday, and simply devastating that the trust isn't there anymore.....

I told ya it's gloomy....so gloomy that I don't even feel like putting up anything colorful to make it less gloomy. So no motivational pictures, no colored fonts.

I just lost a whooping $7,200....of course there isn't gonna be any sunshine now....at least for the time being.

%#@*GLOOMY*%#@*